I’ve been M.I.A. again…
Forgive me? I’ve been a little busy, ya know, growing another human and all. 😉
It’s incredible the transition my body has already made in such a short period of time!
First of all, let me start by saying I debated whether or not I wanted to do any pregnancy posts/updates – it all seemed a bit overwhelming to me. But in the end, I decided why not? I thought it would be fun for me to write about it with the mindset that the updates won’t be perfect and I’m sure there will be several things I miss (or leave out on purpose!). It seems like a nice change from always talking about food (although I do love me some food!).
So here I am diving in…
(Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the details)…
I’d like to start by saying it was really difficult for me to get pregnant – both physically and mentally. Bryan and I decided to start trying in July 2016 and I have to be honest, I’m not really good at planning or researching anything, but I did my best. I read about ways to “help you conceive faster,” I downloaded some apps to start tracking my ovulation and I talked with a few of my friends who have had children. None of it helped. All it did was stress me out and make me feel like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t just magically get pregnant.
I thought I was doing everything right, but as it turns out, there really is no right or wrong way to conceive. Everyone has a different story and experience, and ours was a challenging one. Every month I cried when my period came, and during those months, if I ever experienced any weird symptom I would think to myself, “okay! It finally happened. This has to be it!” Then BAM, Aunt Flo would arrive.
I tried very hard not to make it a chore. I never wanted to be that crazy girl, and for the most part, I think I did okay, but I also felt myself obsessing for quite some time. It was just something I wanted really badly.
Flash forward to April 2017 and I was 14 days late with my period. YEAH! It finally happened! Unfortunately, the pregnancy didn’t last long and we lost the baby very early on. It was devastating. Although it was very early, it was still a heartbreaking loss.
Bryan kept reminding me that this was all a part of our story. It helped, but I couldn’t help but be very upset. There were days I was okay, then days I just cried during random times (day and night). I found comfort talking to my friends who had experienced their own losses – you’d be surprised how many women have suffered miscarriages and I feel like not many of them talk about it.
After this, I was ready to give up. I wanted to give my body and mind a break (Bryan too!), so I stopped thinking about it. Of course, it was still in the back of my mind, but I had kind of put it on hold for awhile. It felt really good. I took the time to focus on myself and the things that I knew I wouldn’t be able to do as soon as I had a child – like sleeping in, doing yoga whenever I wanted, spending quality time with Bryan and the dogs, and packing up and going to Costa Rica – trip I can’t say enough about (but I won’t, because I’m sure y’all are sick of it).
Then guess what? As soon as we came home from Costa Rica it happened. I was finally pregnant. And it felt different this time. It felt right.
People told me this would happen – “as soon as you stop thinking about it, it will happen,” they’d say. But I didn’t believe them. Come to find out, they were right.
So far, pregnancy has been quite an experience for me. My first trimester was Hell. I mean Hell. I was nauseas all of the time. The whole “morning sickness” thing is a joke. It’s all damn day sickness. I couldn’t eat or smell anything without feeling like I was going to vomit almost immediately.
I was also extremely tired. Something I was warned about, but nothing actually prepared me for it. I mean, if you think about it, almost all of your energy is going into making the tiny human inside of you. And don’t forget, I wasn’t really eating much so I didn’t have much energy to begin with!
Everyone kept telling me to wait until my second trimester and I would feel so much better.
So I waited…
Then miraculously, a few weeks into my second trimester, I started feeling like a human again.
What a difference! Once I hit about 15 weeks I finally started feeling good again – my energy is back, my appetite is back and I feel really good. I’ve been staying active by walking almost every day and doing yoga 3-4 times a week. I feel great. And baby is doing well too. 🙂
Somehow I’m 18.5 weeks pregnant already! The first trimester seemed to drag on but now I feel like time is flying. I cannot believe how quickly each week passes.
Cravings: 1st trimester: potatoes & citrus (my Idaho roots and my Florida roots!). 2nd trimester: 3 musketeers! Avocados, smoothies and grilled cheese sandwiches. Ha. Perhaps not the healthiest choices but I’m doing my best!
Mood: All over the place! I can feel super happy, emotional, anxious all in the same hour.
Movement: I’m feeling a lot of movement in bursts throughout the day – nothing very pronounced yet, but it feels like little gas bubbles or butterflies floating around and it’s pretty darn cool. This little stinker seems like an active one!
Gender: It’s a GIRL!
Weight gain: I’m up about 12 pounds – something I thought I would struggle with given my past, but I love knowing the baby is growing and I’m giving her what she needs. I’m trying not to pay too much attention to the numbers, as every pregnancy is different and I know that I’m eating well and exercising daily. My doctor said I look great so I’m stickin’ with that. 🙂
Aches & Pains: I’ve had some low back pain, but the yoga has helped a lot with that.
Sleep: Struggling. I’m usually up 2-3 times a night emptying my bladder, then I have a hard time going back to sleep. I’ve heard this is only going to get worse as I get further along which I don’t look forward to, but I guess it’s preparation for when the baby arrives!
I would love to hear your pregnancy stories so please feel free to share.