Bryan and I had a really nice weekend camping with a few of our friends at Fish Eating Creek in Palmdale, Florida. We spent all weekend in the great outdoors surrounded by birds, the smell of campfire, and laughter from a hysterical game of Cards Against Humanity – if ya’ll haven’t played this game yet, you need to. Hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bryan (or his friends) laugh so hard.
When we got home, I decided it was time to check in on this little baby’s growth! So I did some reading – somehow I’m 23 weeks pregnant already, baby is about 1 pound and the size of a large mango. I hadn’t read any updates on my pregnancy app for awhile so I was shocked to see how much she had grown in such a short period of time. It’s no wonder I feel like I’m getting larger and larger by the second – because I am!
As you can see, I’m all about comfort clothes these days (not that I was any different pre-pregnancy…).
Sleep: I’m still not sleeping well. I’ve been finding it difficult to get comfortable because I normally sleep on my back and apparently that’s a no-no in your second trimester. Plus, it’s not comfortable right now anyway because the little munchkin pushes on my back and it feels painful.
People keep asking me if I’ve tried the pregnancy pillows and I have. Honestly, at first I loved it, but now I’m not really a fan. Probably because it’s MASSIVE! Have you seen these things? It’s like sleeping with 3 offensive lineman in your bed. And trying to roll over with one of these things (the pillow, not the lineman)? NO chance. I’ve just been sleeping on my left side with a small pillow between my legs. I sometimes wake up and I’m on my back and that freaks me out a bit, but there’s nothing I can do about that!
Exercise: I’ve still been doing some pre-natal yoga routines about 3-4 times a week (for about 30 minutes or so) and I’ve been doing a lot of walking – we went on several small walks this weekend while camping. I find that I can’t go as fast as I could pre-pregnancy because I have about 15 extra pounds that I’m carrying, and I also get winded very easily. But hey, I’m still able to do it and that’s what matters.
I think staying fit and active during pregnancy is super important. I’m hoping it helps with the delivery (which I’m terrified of by the way…), as well as losing the post baby weight.
Aches and pains: On and off—lower back pain, front lower pelvic pain, and headaches now and then. But overall, not too bad. I’ve heard that I need to enjoy this time because the third trimester can be brutal.
The baby bump: My bump feels so heavy and tight lately. I’m considering getting one of those support belts to put on during walks. Has anyone tried one of these? Are they worth it or should I just suck it up?
Cravings: Grapefruit, 3 musketeers and dark chocolate, cereal (usually at night), and smoothies.
Weight gain: I’m up to 138lbs. Pre-pregnancy I fluctuated between 120-123lbs so I’ve gained around 15 pounds.
Names: we have a few that we like, but we are keeping our options open (and keeping the names a secret!) until she arrives.
Skin/hair/nails: My skin looks like it did in 1997 when I was a sophomore in high school (man, I’m old). Actually, I think it might be worse. I have several small red patches on my stomach and breasts that won’t go away and I swear, a new pimple pops up almost every single day, sometimes more than one. Not to mention, my stomach is itchy a majority of the day.
My hair and nails are growing at a rapid pace, but this has always been something I’ve been blessed with so I’m not sure it’s any different than before.
Products I’m loving:
-Palmers Tummy Butter for Stretch Marks. You’ll see it pictured in my belly pic above. I don’t think I could live without this stuff. I lather it on right when I get out of the shower (Bryan makes fun of me and says “lathering up?”). It’s too soon to tell if it will work for stretch marks, but it makes my belly nice and soft and I feel like it’s better than doing nothing.
-Jill & Joey pregnancy pillow: This is the pillow I’ve been using between my legs at night. I also took it with me camping and it was a lifesaver.
-Maternity shirts from Target: I promised myself that I wouldn’t go crazy buying a bunch of new maternity clothes, but I did expect to buy a few things. After asking a few friends what they thought were essential purchases, most of them said a few maternity shirts and a pair of jeans and shorts. I love the shirts from Target, they are so comfortable and inexpensive! I ended up getting two of them and I wear them all the time.
Mood/Emotions/Thoughts/Feelings (this is going to be a long one so bear with me..): I have to be honest, I’ve been super grumpy.
So many of my friends and co-workers have told me that they loved being pregnant and I want to punch them. I’ve hated almost every minute of it and it makes me feel guilty – like I hate my baby girl or something. It’s supposed to be such a special and exciting time in my (and Bryan’s) life, and I’ve been miserable.
Initially, while I’m being honest, I had a very hard time coming to terms with my changing body. For many years, I have prided myself on being healthy, both inside and out. So watching my body expand and grow in every direction was difficult. As time goes on, I am learning (and trying) to appreciate my body for what it’s doing – I’m growing another human and she needs room to grow. Don’t get me wrong, I still look at myself in the mirror everyday in disbelief that my boobs won’t stop growing (this part I actually like), and my stomach looks like I swallowed a basketball, but pregnancy truly is a magical thing. There’s a human inside of me, an actual human. That’s pretty damn remarkable.
My mood has been up and down. For awhile I was doing well, but this past week was brutal. I felt sooooo emotional and stressed out. I cried almost on a daily basis, sometimes for no reason at all. I apologized to Bryan a dozen times for my emotional state, with which he would reply jokingly, “yeah, stop being such a monster.” Which made me want to cry even more.
Side note: I apologize a lot when really, I’m not that bad. But I don’t like to treat people poorly so even if I think I’m being slightly rude or inconsiderate, I tend to apologize later.
I think a lot of my emotion stems from not having a strong support group close by. Sure, I have Bryan, but I don’t have a lot of close friends or any of my family nearby, so it’s difficult because I tend to rely so heavily on Bryan, for things he probably can’t give me right now. Sometimes I feel like I’m going through this alone, and that’s really hard.
I know I can’t control a lot of what’s happening internally, but I’m trying not to be such a monster. Although, I do think I’m allowed my moments. 🙂 I am creating another human after all…
My thoughts have been all over the place too. I’ve heard this is normal, especially with your first pregnancy. At first, 9 months seemed so far away, and now I’m less than 4 months away and I feel so unprepared!
Will I be a good mom?
Will Bryan be a good dad? (I actually never have this thought, because I know he will be a good dad, no, he will be a great one).
What will she look like?
Will she be smart? Pretty? Kind?
Ugh. Are we really doing this? Our entire lives are going to change…
Deep down, I know it’s going to be wonderful, but I’m still scared shitless.
I would love to hear your pregnancy stories so please feel free to share.